Columbus Council #126
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JOKES

Talking mouth

SEND IN SOME CLEAN JOKES AND THEY WILL BE POSTED TO OUR WEBSITE,(bubbavskie6036@aol.com)

It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something. ----Jack Handey

The Story of Rindercella

Intro: Peacorn! Popnuts! Chewing Can! and Gumdy!....Have you ever heard about spoonerisms? Well, now let me tell you the story about Rindercella...

Once apon a time, in a coreign fountry, there lived a very geautiful birl; her name was Rindercella. Now, Rindercella lived with her mugly other and her two sad bisters. And in that same coreign fountry, there lived a very prandsom hince.

One day, the prandsom hince decided to have a bancy fall. He invited people from riles amound, especially the pich reople. But Rindercella could not go because all she had to wear were some old rirty dags. So she just cat fsdown and scried. She was a kitten there a scrien, when all of a sudden her gairy fodmother appeared. And she waived her wagic mand...and all of a sudden there appeared before her, a cig boach and hix white sorces to take her to the bancy fall. But now she said to Rindercella, "Rindercella, you must be home before nidmight, or I'll purn you into a tumpkin!"

So Rindercella went to the bancy fall, where she met the very prandsom hince, who she had been watchin through a widden hindow. She and the prandsom hince nanced all dight till nidmight...and they lell in fove. Suddenly, the mid clock struck night; Rindercella staced down the rairs, and just she beached the rottom, she slopped her dripper!

The next day, the prandsom hince went all over the coreign fountry looking for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper. He came to Rindercella's house. He tried it on Rendercella's mugly other...and it fidn't dit. He tried it on her two sigly usters...and it fidn't dit. He tried it on Rindercella...and it fid dit, it was exactly the sight rize!

The next day, Rindercella and the prandsom hince were married and they lived everly hafter happward.

Now, the moral of the story is this: If you ever loll in fove with a prandsom hince, be sure and slop your dripper!

Crostifer Colimbus and the Amovery of Disterica

Many gears ayo, Queen Spainabella if Is heared a light snock on the coor of her dastle. There stood a young gen from Manoa who gowed bracefully and egged a baudience with her hoyal righness, which audience she gillingly wave. " Oh Seen", he qued, " I would learly dove to wail sestward and amover Disterica, but I am dort of shough. Could you kingtact the cong and mare up a bit of scunny?"

Now the deen, who was anything but a quope, recognized the minsarity of the san, plus the profability of a little possit in the deal. So, she kingtacted the cong, and together they gave him bee small throats : The Pina, the Ninta and the Manta Saria. This made Holibus excruciatingly cappy, so he quanked the theen on nended bee and forth set mail for Aserica, the tune of opperlandity.

It was on octwelber the toth, fourteen hundred and twodee-nine after hardy menships and ditter bissapointments, that Corstifer Colimbus arrived at the shelate doors of the bahamas. Thus, American startery histed